runfreeforever

Live. Love. Run. It's what I do.

Guess who’s back (…….hint……me!)

Wow, I’ve been on quite the hiatus from my blogging life, but worry not, I haven’t strayed away from my running! They say time flies when you’re having fun, and my gosh they’re right. I’ve just been looking back for the first time in a long time at my running goals, ambitions, and ramblings from three years ago, and I’ve realized that much has changed, but so much has definitely stayed the same. I’m into my second year of college already, with midterms, lab papers, and my first full marathon staring me right in the face. Add a pharmacy school application, pharmacy tech certification test, volunteering, working, and some resemblance of a social life and other college-y things, and you could say I’m one busy bee. Running has been one of those few necessary constant things in my life that never fails to help keep me sane when the going gets rough, the stress of life seems overwhelming, or soothe any other wide range emotions.

Since entering college last year, the first student organization I joined was a running club. What I love about our running club here is the diversity among our members. We have three official routes each day we meet, where one goes about 2-3 miles, one runs about 4-6, and a third ambitious team treks 6-8 miles. We have people of all backgrounds come to our bi-weekly meetings, whether they’re freshmen looking for a place to continue running after high school cross country, to graduate students looking for a running buddy, from those who’ve never had a foot on the starting line of a race in their lives, to the ones who’ve already run more marathons and half marathons than I could count on both hands. Regardless of your past in running, anyone is sure to find someone who will fit their ideal pace and strike up an intriguing conversation while they’re at it. Especially with my first marathon around the corner in a few short weeks, it’s great to have a whole group of people who’ve been there and have advice for me and don’t think I’m crazy when I ask if anyone wants to join me on a 20-miler! I’m truly blessed to have such a great community of runners around me here who support me and break up the monotony of solo runs, along with simply being a blast to run with.

Well that’s all for now folks, but keep in touch, there’s definitely more to come!

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My Future

I’m a junior in high school this year, so I’ve started to think about college more and more often. As I think about my future, I’m excited but completely terrified. Who do I want to be, where do I want to go, what do I want to do? I’m not ready for these kinds of decisions yet! How am I, a girl of sixteen years, supposed to try to figure out her life and make life-changing decisions when I can’t even decide what to wear or what to have for lunch most days?? I swear I am one of the most indecisive people in the whole world!

We have to register for classes for senior year next week, and of course I never thought much about it until this week, putting it off to the last minute as always. I know I don’t want to slack off senior year, but I still don’t know where my limits are. I am planning on taking three AP courses, a Human Anatomy and Physiology class at the community college, and then two more “easier” classes. And on top of that, I have cross country, track, out-of-season running, church, potentially show choir, piano lessons, college applications to fill out, my future to worry about, my boyfriend and other friends to hang out with before we graduate, my parents and three little siblings to spend time with before I move out, a job to get to save money for college, volunteer work to look good on resumes and applications, my list never ends. I have an awful tendency to overload myself and keep myself ridiculously busy. Sleep goes on the back burner. I don’t have the time to hang out with the friends I promised to hang out with, I don’t have time for homework, I don’t have time for anything. How am I supposed to find a balance in my crazy life? I hold on too tightly to all the things that consume my entire life, and I don’t know how I could choose anything to leave out. I love doing the things I do, and I don’t want to give anything up.

So as I try to plan my future, look into colleges, and figure out what I want to do with my life, I’m having a tough time thinking rationally and choosing what’s most important to me. I know that I want to go into health/medicine, and I’m thinking about being a physician’s assistant or physical therapist, but that’s subject to change. So the academic aspect of a college is really important to me. I want a school that’s at least medium-sized, because I want options in the friends I make, and I want the wider range of opportunities and options that come along with a larger school. But how big is the right size for me? Do I want to run for my college? Do I have what it takes to handle the stress of being a student-athlete in college? Do I want to go to a private Christian school or do I want to go to a huge state university? Do I want to stay in-state or do I want to graduate and get out of here? I don’t know. I don’t have any answers. I have no idea how to choose a school.

I have so many uncertainties in my life, and I don’t think I’m ready to find an answer to any of them. The future is scary. And it’s creeping closer and closer each and every day. I’ll be a senior before I know it. My high school career will be over in the blink of an eye. I’m not ready for that yet!

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” “Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” Matthew 6:27, 34

That verse came to mind, and in reflection, maybe I need to try to focus more on the here and now. Maybe I need to stop worrying about my future and pray about it rather than giving myself premature wrinkles. Maybe I need to shift my focus from what I can’t control to what I can control, here and now; live my life and enjoy every precious second of it while it lasts. Here I am freaking about my future, and it’s distracting me from making the most of my life right now. That needs to stop! Maybe if I run more, it’ll help relieve some of this stress and worry I’m feeling!

 

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